Ideal Tone/Transcript

Gustav: Is that how you’re going to fail the exam?

Glam: No, father.

Gustav: What’s wrong with your vibrato? Hand!

Do you even understand how much I invested in you? This suit, this violin! This time that I spend on such rubbish like you! Is that how you want to repay me? To show up to the exam, to dishonor yourself, to dishonor me...

Glam: No, father. I won't let you down.

Gustav: What can't be doubled in a sixth chord of basic triads?

Glam: Bass.

Gustav: Which triad is based on the minor third?

Glam: Minor.

Gustav: The chord...

Mother: Gustav! Some package just arrived. Did they make a mistake?

Gustav: Oh no, they didn’t. It’s finally arrived...

Mother: Please don't tell me it's that revolver.

Gustav: It is.

Mother: But we’ve decided not to buy it.

Gustav: Yes, but I’ve changed my mind and made another decision.

Mother: We can still send it back!

Gustav: I MADE THE DECISION!

Mother: If you say so, dear.

Gustav: What a glorious instrument. This is Smith & Wesson, .44 Magnum… Much better than the colt of my colleague Ben.

Glam: Yeah...

Gustav: I feel much better now. Go throw this away.

Glam: Why can’t the butler do this job?

Gustav: A “D F-sharp” chord is given. In what keys will it dominate?

Glam: G major… and minor.

Mother: Sebastian! Are you whining in there again, or am I wrong?

Glam: No, mom. You’re wrong.

Mother: Okay. Father almost finished inspecting your room. I hope this time you didn't hide anything there.

Butler: The room’s been inspected successfully.

Glam: Thank you, Rowd.

Butler: Sebastian? Do you really think that my job here is to take out your trash?

Glam: I... don’t think so.

Butler: But you’ve said so. Good night.

Glam: May 26th. The exam is tomorrow, but I’m not worried about it. I will easily pass it and be one of the best. Maybe even the best. Unless my hand fails me, since my dear father whipped it particularly hard with a ruler today. I remember Lydia taking the exam. Quite successful. 3rd place. Maybe if I take 1st, father will stop treating me like an abomination and start to respect me?

The hiding place is safe. Father hasn't been able to find the first security level for 2 months now. He’s never even reached the second level, let alone the third.

I’ve almost finished constructing the bank building. Its roof has a specific shape. Looks like… a part of a light bulb. But in our house you can’t even find a used light bulb, since Rowd always replaces them. If a light bulb disappears from somewhere, I’ll immediately fall under suspicion. Well.. I'll find it somewhere on the way.

It’d also be great to find a pair of pins for the lamp posts, and a piece of plastic to imitate a river. And, in general, it’d be great to walk a little further from the park where I've never been before, to understand how to finish modeling that part of the city. But father won’t ever let me go there. Because the people living there are ‘unworthy’.

I wonder, dear father, have you yourself always been worthy? And have you worthily endured your father’s whips with a ruler? And what if you were tied up to the bed and someone stood in front of you, not with a ruler, but with a baseball bat. Would you still keep your composure? Or would fear appear on your face? I’d love to see it on that hypocritical mask stretched over a skull...

Gustav: Rowd! Hurry up! Last thing I want is for my worthless son to be late for his exam.

Glam: Honestly, I don't really want...

Gustav: Don't even think about it. Your plate better be clean!

Butler: Oatmeal, Sir Sebastian.

Sir. This morning I was cleaning the bathroom and decided to replace the towels a bit earlier than usual, and right behind them I found this.

Gustav: I thought I told you to throw it away.

Glam: Yes, but it was late. I didn't want to go out after dark, so I’ve decided to throw it out in the morning.

Gustav: Rowd! Trash it.

Butler: Is that how you’re trying to put me in my place? Brat.

Lydia: Does your exam start at 11?

Glam: Yes, Lydia. But why do you care?

Lydia: I’ll come to watch.

Glam: Hand hurts, Rowd’s angry, Lydia will come...

Ches: Hot diggity dog! What do we have here? A cracked bulb. And it’s got such a booty, mmm… Kinda looks like the roof of the bank, don't you think?

Glam: Give it back!

Ches: Why? Is it yours? Take it then, why the hell would I need it?

Why are you standing there like you pissed yourself?

Glam: I did not wet myself!

Ches: Yeah, I know. I pissed here. Hey, my name is...

Glam: Your name doesn't interest me.

Ches: Oh, I see you have a violin. Your pitch must be pretty good.

Glam: I have perfect pitch!

Ches: Listen, why do you need this light bulb's ass?

Glam: Why are you pestering me?!

Ches: Am I?

Glam: You’re following me!

Ches: I'm not following you. You’re just going to the same place I am.

Glam: Hah! I’m going to the entrance exam in the conservatory!

Ches: So am I.

Glam: You?! B-but, you...

Ches: What?

Glam: You don't look like a musician!

Ches: Why not let the musician decide how they look? Let's go! Or we'll be late.

Teacher: So… Oh! Gustav’s son is here? And Lydia has also honored us with her presence!

Lydia: Looking after my brother.

Teacher: Well then, everyone’s present except for...

Ches: Sorry, I got stuck in your comfy toilet. Probably ate something bad.

Teacher: Take a seat.

Ches: Can I sit there?

Glam: No.

Teacher: Yes, of course.

Glam: Damn it.

Lydia: I totally agree. How was this filth even allowed in here? Being among talents doesn't mean you have talent too.

Ches: Excusez-moi, monsieur. Hey again, Martian!

Lydia: What?! You know him?

Glam: No.

Ches: Yeah! We’ve met near the dumpster. I was just pissing and...

Glam: SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

Teacher: Sebastian! As a hereditary musician, would you like to take the exam first?

Glam: With pleasure.

Lady: Congratulations, Shvagenvagens. You’ve been successfully enrolled.

Glam: I need to know how well I did on the exam. Am I one the best?

Lady: Nobody knows that yet. Weren’t you the first to take it?

Glam: Oh, yeah.

Lady: Though I have to admit… It’s the first time in 20 years that I see such a… gifted student.

Glam: Thank you.

Lady: Wait for the exam results.

Glam: List of the best students based on the results of the entrance exam.

Lydia: You’re in second place.

Glam: But who beat me? Who is that Har… Ha...

Ches: Excuse me! Sorry, sorry! Woohoo, first place! I’m in!

Lydia: You were outdone by that… worm?!

Glam: For God's sake, just don’t tell father...

Lydia: And why should I keep silent?

Woman: It’s alright honey, don’t worry. You’ll pass next year.

Look how upset he is. I guess he’s also failed.

Ches: Helloooooo!

Glam: Get out of my sight immediately!

Ches: Whoa. Maybe you’ll tell me to go fuck myself too?

Glam: Go... f-fuck yourself… faggot!

Ches: … Better?

Glam: No. How did you manage to take first place?

Ches: Well, they asked questions, I answered… it wasn’t anything complicated.

Well, for example, they asked about augmented sixth chords, so I went: “ta da da daa, ta da da daa”.

Glam: What?! That’s absurd!

Ches: Well, in major a double-augmented sixth chord is the same as a double half-diminished dominant chord… with a lowered third, just like your self-esteem.

And an augmented four-three chord is the same as… oh wow, haven’t dried up yet… double dominant four-three chord with a diminished fifth, right?

Glam: Right. Are you happy?

Ches: Me? I'm very happy! One chance out of a hundred. I’m very lucky.

Glam: What do you mean “out of a hundred”?

Ches: Well, you know, those were the conditions of my enrollment. I either take first place and get accepted or I don’t.

Glam: What? Why?

Ches: Well, I didn’t go to music school, nor do we have any money. But the conservatory grants free education to anyone who takes first place.

Glam: Your parents must be proud of you.

Ches: No freaking way. My mother was against it. She wanted me to quickly find a job at some factory.

Listen, our acquaintance went pretty badly, but we can try to connect through music. Here.

Glam: I’ve been playing Bach since I was 6 years old.

Ches: You can play Bach all your life! What use is in that? But if you learn to listen to him… Mmm… It has violins, cellos and oс-to-bass… It’s when one person presses the strings and the other...

Glam: I know.

Ches: This record, It’s not just Bach... It’s a Ba-Bach! [explosion sound] It will blow your mind!

Alright, I gotta go. Just wish I get hit by a car if you don’t wanna see me again. I changed my mind! Don’t wish it! Who knows what’s in your head...

Gustav: So how did the exam go, son?

Glam: Successfully. I’m one of the best.

Gustav: What's this? Bach? An octobass orchestra… Do you even understand how far you are from the music on this record?! You can listen to Bach all you want, but if you don’t learn to play it...

Glam: I’m one of the best, father!

Gustav: You’re only the second!

Glam: Lydia was the third!

Lydia: How low.

Gustav: Don’t even dare to compare it. She’s a woman. And she had serious competitors! Unlike you. I can’t believe that some lowlife outdid my son!

Butler: They also became friends with that lowlife. I saw how that tramp walked Sebastian to the door.

Lydia: I can confirm it. The tramp said himself that they’ve met near the dumpster.

Gustav: Empty your pockets, now. What's this?! You brought trash into the house again!? Hand! Now!

Glam: Thank you, Rowd.

Butler: Good night. I hope you didn’t bring lice into the house.

Glam: Lice? Why only lice?! Maybe I'll bring cholera! Typhoid! Scabies! The plague! To infect everyone on purpose! So everyone dies!

“Do you know how far you are from this music?”...

Not just Baсh, but a Ba-Bach...